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Friday, October 11, 2019

Exodus

I remember it. 2017. October 26, after battling a few issues in the house I tried to make a home - it was broken into.  Nothing was stolen - everything was untouched and the only way that the break-in was noticeable was due to the very back door being open and the bars being damaged to the door that connected the back to the front; which was pointed out by my youngest daughter.  I imagine that was quite a sight to take in at a young age.


The frightening reality?  The door that the perpetrator could not access?  On a normal day, it would have been unlocked and accessible.  On a normal day, my domestic partner at the time would have also been home during the day of that break-in; as he usually worked at night.  Yes; on a normal day.  But this, no, it wasn't a normal day.  This day, as we all walked out of the house - there was an unction in my spirit to turn off the air.  After all, no one would be home; for it was not a normal day.  As I passed by the door which secured the front of the house from the back, there was another spirit unction to lock it.  Why was this abnormal?  The back part of the house had a door that one could enter in, but it was locked.  So although there was a middle door in the house that could be locked, it was not habitual for us to lock that door.  But this day...   


It was evident that whoever came in, came in with an agenda.  There were so many things that could have been stolen but none were.  Their agenda was to access the front of the house, where on a normal day, someone would have been home in.  The fact was  - I had dreamed not too many weeks before that that someone had broken in the house, through the same door that it was broken into; and I had actually seen the face of this person in that dream.


Life switched significantly for us that day and the pieces of the puzzle were not coming together.  But out of nowhere, a song stayed in my spirit.  "Crossover."  I believed, and I still do, that Yahweh was telling me, it was time to leave.  That song reminded me and still does, of when the children of Israel crossed over into the Promised Land.  They HAD to leave Exodus.  They CHOSE the Wilderness.  But there was still a promise.  *This is significant, remember that.*


This song, and this unction to leave, would not settle. In my mind I wondered, "Where will we go?  Who will take us in?  How will we live?  This is embarrassing!"  nevertheless, against all of my mental battles, October 28, I told my husband, *then boyfriend*, "It's time to leave."  We were experiencing a few more things I won't disclose at this time but I just kept hearing, "We walk to freedom."  For so many reasons, that habitat was bondage and it was time to make my exodus. The next three days we packed up, threw away, and sold things.  As I think back, I may have left some things that could be useful but honestly, when you're trying to leave - the last thing you worry about it what you can't fit with you.

November 1, 2017, was the day I walked away from a three/four bedroom, 1.5 bathroom house to move into a double-bedded hotel - with three children.  November 1, 2017, was my exodus.

EXODUS: a mass departure of movement of people; also the departure of the Israelites from Egypt.

The ironic thing about this reality is that for months, I dreamed that I was living in a hotel.  Yahweh was showing me and preparing me for a new transition all along, you see? Since obviously, it was only my family that moved, this term of Exodus refers to my personal Egypt, or bondage.

The first weekend at the hotel it stormed.
We opened the door and watched the rain...
And then watched the dark clouds allow light to peak through.
I believed that was a message! :)

Few people knew that I was now residing in a hotel but it was exhilarating.  It was true freedom.  Little did I know that the next few months would be a season of wilderness for me.  I entered a season where some days the works of my hands brought the increase, and some days - no matter how I worked - the only thing we had was manna!  See, I'd planned my escape and was confident in how that plan was going to go.  But what's the phrase, "Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans."  And though, currently, that part of the story is not ready to be told what I do want to expound on is this word Exodus.  


As I study Moses and see the silver lining in each passage - it drew me into a few light bulb moments.  Moses was saved from death to grow up in his oppressor's home.  He was cared for as a prince of Egypt - with the blessing and favor of Egypt, again, the oppressor.  I'm sure Moses never imagined the day would come that he would have to stand against the very ones that raised him.  It would seem to be that Yahweh spits in the face of Egypt in this situation.  The very one that Pharoah took in would be the one to take away the control Egypt had exercised over the Hebrew Israelites.

Interesting.  Sit on that. #selah

The calling of Moses is significant.  Why didn't Yahweh call Him to deliver Israel while He was in the house of Egypt?  Why did He let Moses leave, become comfortable with a new wife and kids, and then say "Go back"?  Can anyone say "purpose"; That when the time and season is right, you will be called to enter into your purpose!  Every step of Moses' life was preparing him for His purpose.  It was in the wilderness Moses learned of Yahweh's presence.  See that?  Moses didn't KNOW Yahweh in Egypt, not according to scripture.  He knew that he was a Hebrew (otherwise why did he kill the Egyptian for *Exodus 2:11 - 12*) BUT he had yet to meet the authority of Yahweh, the Lord whom his ancestors served.  In the wilderness, in his separation, his own personal exodus - it was then that he met Yahweh.



It was in this season, 2017, that I really really met Yahweh.  It was when I heard His voice the clearest.  It was when I looked upon His face in the spirit and physically wept because I'd never seen anything so beautiful in my life.  It was in this place of my wilderness, I really found my purpose - I really knew why I was created.  It was then that I understood - Egypt was not a place for me to live, but to be delivered from and then obey Yahweh to draw out others.

*Sigh*

*Deep sigh*

*Really, really deep sigh*


Just as Yahweh told Moses that what was in his hand to use against the enemy was his staff, and just as He told Moses that Pharoah's heart would be heartened and prepared him for the battle - I reflect back and see that nothing that I have endured has caught me off guard.  Maybe others, but not me.  In those moments where I should have broken down, I was held together by the peace of Yahweh in understanding that I was now walking in my purpose.  With purpose comes enemies; and sometimes those enemies will be members of the very household you come from.  Remember?  Moses became an enemy to the household that raised him.  Oh man, there are so many words to expound upon but exodus; with a reflection on wilderness.  After all, where do you go when you're free?  Where is the refuge?  Mine, as Moses' and so many others, was in the presence of my Father.  Where is yours?  Matter of fact, are you even free?  What is your purpose?  Can you see it unfolding over your life?  Or are you still enslaved to your Egypt?  Have you experienced the firey presence of your Creator, Yahweh?  Or are you still trying to blend your identity with the very thing/people that oppress you?

the key term in this is

The first night I laid my children to sleep in that hotel room, was indeed a scary but liberating feeling.  They were safe, they were fed, they had all essential needs - but I'd taken us away from what I believed was a comfort.  I didn't understand that my exodus was tied to their promised land as well.  

*Think on that*

*No, really think about that.*

In the months and years to come, I would continue to allow the Yahweh to lead us into our promises; though not without days and nights of sometimes wondering if He was still there! LOL 

Exodus.  Can I encourage you to meditate on your life and allow Yahweh to give you visions, dreams, and assignments for your next season?  The process is all too familiar if we look at His track record! For example, was Abraham not called out? Was David not hidden, then given access to the very king he would replace?  Paul persecuting the same people Yahweh called him to minister to.  LOL...Over and over, we see the Yahweh strategically unfold the plan of those that He uses in a similar manner.  I think it's safe to say that we can't skip the process, but in some form or fashion - it all begins with exodus.



#zoedeespeaks #adoseofspiritualreality

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Friday, October 4, 2019

Dear Bitter Baby Mama

This topic, like others, I've been reluctant to share on but I'm just gonna be real:  This is my perspective and if this shoe fits you or not, I mean... I just pray it places something on your mind to help you grow.

See... I had the idea planned.  I found myself, early 20's - divorced and then pregnant by a married man.  Did I plan that? No...like who honestly REALLY wants to live that, right?

 I imagined the perfect life growing up.  I was going to go to school, get married, have two boys and a girl with a little dog and live happily ever after.  If you've read any of my titles, you know that this "plan" did not go as I planned. Why? So many variables but listen...

As I recall the heartbreaking reality...I had to come to terms with the fact that that was my life.  Was I pissed? YES! I mean, who wouldn't be? But after a good look at myself I had to take accountability for ME; for MY decisions.

Fast forward to a re-marriage and re-divorce and then I was not only a single mother but a single mother with two men as fathers of my children of not one, not two, but three children!  What happened? How? Why? I mean, I could go into the emotions of all that but really it's in my books and I need to stay on topic, lol.  But here's the thing.  I had to reflect on how I ended up in those positions to not REPEAT those actions to get me in that same position.

So first, I had gotten married prematurely; without wise counsel and jumped into an ocean with not even a hint of a lifeguard around.  I was unequally yoked spiritually, and I knew it. Not to say that I regret my children, but I regret the decisions I made in conceiving them.  Fast forward to the child born in adultery.  I had so many warnings and ways out - I knew better and could have chosen them but I didn't.  So when this man walked away at the announcement of her conception - I could not fathom the reality I'd chosen.  But here is the thing - I chose every decision - some spirit led after the fact but most flesh.

When I took responsibility for my own actions, it was then that I realized that it was now me with these children single handly to raise.  Now, this is not to bash their fathers; overall I have to say that I am grateful for the fathers of my children because they are not absent, however - I could no longer fix my mouth to complain about a load that I made the decision to carry.  No matter how present they can be, still nothing is like being in the household 24/7.  And this is what I see with so many women.

So let me address this from a place of grace:
A man not paying child support should never be a reason for your child to lack.
A man not wanting a relationship with you should never hinder his relationship with his child.
A man only paying a certain amount of child support that you mock, should never be an excuse for your children to go hungry or without.

Mainly, if you are a single mother - there is GRACE for you.  But you have to remove yourself from a place of blame and to a place of victory in understanding that no matter what circumstance you became a single mother in - more than likely, YOU made decisions to play a part in that.  Whatever load you are carrying, it is indeed yours and the reality is - you must carry it with peace for your sake!

Another thing - If the father of your child moves on and is married, his first obligation is NOT to you nor that child - it is to his wife and family because that is who his established covenant is with! Now, before you cuss me out, I'm not saying a man shouldn't take care of his child with physical and financial obligation but understand that there is a biblical order.  I don't have time to go into this at the moment but recall Sarah and Abraham with Ishmael.  And yes, I also understand that a man who doesn't take care of his own is worse than an infidel so don't go left or right.  What I am referring to is order, and any wise woman will encourage her husband to be active in the child's life as well as provide.  This is a no brainer.  Once again, this is referring to the order. Listen, children are a blessing and I believe that. However, understand that many times they are our consequences in the midst of sinful decisions and we have to deal with that.  So if the father of your child is married now, respect the order regardless of how you feel about her or their marriage.

So many people don't respect the order of God's family and believe that a man's wife or a woman's husband has no position in a child that was brought along with the marriage.  This is where much confusion comes from and children are being used as pawns to cause division in homes that others don't respect.  Dang, that's so a different topic.  How did I get that?  Ok, anyway...

Listen, ladies:
I've had several times where for whatever reason, my children's fathers could not either be present physically or financially.  But there has never been a time where I had to stress about their provision because YAHWEH provides.  I'm NOT my kid's mother and father.  And yes, many days I have carried heavier loads than I wanted to and sometimes I have cried, cursed, or thrown temper tantrums because "My life wasn't supposed to turn out like this."  Remember? Married, three kids, and a dog? But as wisdom spoke to me: "We live and we die by the consequences of the choices we make."

If you choose to lay down out of wedlock with a man and that sin produces a seed - accept the responsibility of your actions without bashing a man for being absent.  Your focus should be on repenting and then allowing your Father to bring you back to that place of grace where He can show you that He loves you and that He is there for you.

Close. Your. Legs.
Stop playing wife/house.
Let Yahweh bring you into a covenant marriage.
Most importantly HEAL!!!

If he pays $200 or $0 - HEAL.  Is it fair? NO. But you both could have chosen better.
If he spends 365 days with the child/ren or 0 days - HEAL.  Is it fair? NO. But you both could have chosen better.
Yet, don't allow your BITTERNESS to hinder that child's relationship with their father OR with a wife that he brings in her/his/their life.  I don't care what he looks like in your eyes, in that child's or those children's eyes let HIM develop their relationship.  Listen, this comes from a place of grace and healing.  There is no way I could have carried my load efficiently without Yahweh.  NO government assistance.  See, many of you would be a completely different position if you weren't getting everything from food to healthcare from the government yet your hurt and bitterness causes you to judge the father of your child/ren who gets absolutely no assistance at all.  Again, another topic.

In reality, you just have to take your experience for what it is and do better!  Don't get in the exact same situation over and over again and expect a different result because your insides jumping!  Now Lil' Poo done had three, four daddies and families and can't even trust their own daddy! Ladies, NO.

HEAL. BE DELIVERED. Set your life on course with Yahweh's plan for your life.  And for the life of your child/ren don't LIVE through your them and idolize them! OMG...another topic - my gosh!

All in all, let's just end THIS topic with HEAL.  I've shared with you a glimpse of my testimony so you can't say I'm being partial.  No, I understand what it's like and I've had some bitter moments but in those bitter moments, I never found peace.  My peace came with an understanding that I am only responsible for my actions and if I want different results, I need to make different decisions.  I can't unbirth my children or choose different fathers.  I hate that mainly for them because I feel like they deserved better but let me tell you - Yahweh is a Lord of grace and He can change situations in your life in a heartbeat and fill every void.  I had to let a lot of hurts go. I'm still (just to be real) dealing with situations that aren't "fair" but it is the reality I chose, based on the decisions I made and with that I'm ok.  I wish the father of my children nothing but success and peace because I'm sure they may contemplate their decisions and wish things were different for their children too.  I stopped judging their hearts and their actions because I'm not their Lord, I don't know what their intents are.  I move by love as much as I can and I pray for them because ultimately they will forever be apart of me because of the seed we share.  Me talking ill on them and cursing them is just like cursing my child!  See, when you're healed you can see things from many perspectives, not just your own. 

The "bitter baby mama" syndrome is real, and it is rampant and I'm not writing this from a personal point of view.  This is not directed towards any particular individual but as I stated in the opening clause, lol, if the shoe fits - please acknowledge it and let these words penetrate into your spirit.

Until next week -
Love & Peace
#zoedeespeaks

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Friday, September 27, 2019

And Then It Hit Me...

Laying here filtering through thoughts, pictures, memories.  As I think about this last year, I feel like I've fallen off so far from the path I was on.  But at the same time, I'm looking at how far I've come and yet, how far I still want and need to go.  I am feeling completely behind in so many things and yet - so far ahead. 

And as I lay, staring at the screen of more and more research on how to "win" - it is like a light bulb went off.

"You know you don't have to talk about JUST sex or deep stuff."  

I mean, yeah, it would have seemed so obvious, but it wasn't.  One of those moments where the strive for perfection overlaps that ugly little thing titled "performance." 

If you ask why I don't YouTube - I would tell you, "I don't look a certain way for branding."
If you ask what happened to the podcast - I would tell you, "Well, I don't know how to fit it in my schedule!  I don't have the right equipment. I need more storage on my phone."

I could go on, but get the picture? Yeah, every little move I need to make is followed with some form of an excuse and now I get it. 

See, the last few weeks - Yahweh has had me studying the book of Joshua again.  This time, the more profound revelation lies in the possession of the Promised Land.  The land was theirs - a promise made hundreds of years ago to them.  Yet, certain Hebrews couldn't access it due to a lack of faith. And the ones who did access it - they were under a leader and they had STRATEGY TO POSSESS!  (Trust me, I'm sensing this won't be a one-part blog.") But I'll tell you what was a very interesting phenomenon to me. 

The scripture says that God hardened the heart of Isreal's enemies.  Why?  I mean, I don't know.  You would think that if God gave you land to possess and it is yours, you could just go in and say, "Alright, ya know.  God gave this to me. It's mine" and all would be well right? Uh, well no.  Not according to Father Yahweh.  For some reason or another (and I have a few ideas why), He wanted them to fight! Why?  Was it that they were so strong?  No, quite the opposite.   It was because YAHWEH was.  Now, lol, either He's on a power trip or there are reasons beyond our understanding where He commands them to WAR against their enemies to possess what is there (again, I believe I get it a little).

Anyway, part of what I have received from this study is that -
1. I have land (a promise)!
2. I have permission to access it!
3. I have the power of Yahweh behind me to fight for it!

Where am I going with all of this?  Let me return to my overthinking for months now of, "I'm not good enough to step out further!"  Lies.  He told me to write.  Well, I should be writing.  He told me to speak.  I should be speaking.  While I'm watching other speakers, waiting on "my turn", the nudge of the Holy Spirit goes "It's already your turn."  What's that saying, "You've been waiting on God but He's waiting on you." Yep, that's me right now.

Truth be told, if the Hebrew Israelites would have just waited on Yahweh to possess the Promised Land they would have still been at the brink of the Jordan River looking at the ark of the covenant.  I'm sure Yahweh's patience may have been tested. LOL! But had they moved ahead of Him, they likely would not have been successful.  And had He not given them their strength, they likely would've thought it was "them" that won.  Basically, Yahweh gave them a fixed fight!  Think about that.  While you're doing that...I just realized I've been tripping harder than hard.  HA! Basically, I'm tripping.  It's time for possession.  It's been time.



Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Breaking the Cycle of Sexual Perversion with Nakia Calhoun

Wow...

I can really say that not only have I been distracted but I believe somewhere along these months, I've lost my identity in who I should be on this Earth.  I'm so thankful for my Father who never lets me forget!

See, the enemy has no new tricks - and distraction is a major trick that is used in the Kingdom.  After all, if you're distracted you're "too busy" doing meaningless and fruitless tasks - and you realize months later that you've been off focus.  Not only do you realize that you've been off focus but you realize that everything else that you've been doing truly cannot compare to being ON TASK for God.

It is the truth that only what you do in the Kingdom of God will last.  I'm beyond honored for an opportunity to share my testimony of how God has delivered and set me free from sexual sin.  I am also grateful that the gifts and callings are without repentance and that they will make room to bring you before great men (and women).

I'll be back, but to hit RESTART, let me share with you this live Facebook stream with Nakia Calhoun as we have discussed breaking the cycle of sexual perversion!


Tuesday, April 23, 2019

"Life with Zoë" Returns

A few years ago, I hooked up with a good friend of mine who thought I should do a podcast. LOL...
Well, me being me... yeah... I thought it was a great thing to do because of my personality and my boldness in addressing things that we don't really talk about.  I mean we talked about some of everything and I do mean everything ... from bitter baby mamas, to ex tales (craziest lies), to seductive readings and the prison system being modern day slavery.  Let's face it - I know Yahweh had given me a voice to speak... but it matters what you speak about.  A little after my fire experience, I tried to re-brand this podcast but Holy Spirit said "No." 

I moved to a new state, had inquiries to be hosted on other podcasts, but the door never fully opened.  While in prayer last week, Holy Spirit said again, "Podcast."  I can't tell y'all really how much I run from things because the more humble I get, the less I want to be on the forefront.  Though I don't mind speaking - I. Just. Don't. DEMAND. the spotlight. 

But who has been called that has ever truly wanted to be used.  From the Old Testament to the New Testament, I don't recall reading "Oooooouuuu pick me Lord, pick me!"  LOL Seriously...
But anyway....yes, the new podcast is here!  It officially launched on the 17th of April - introducing the books I've written and what we'll be discussing. 

So, join me as we talk about sex, life, marriage, relationships and the like! Follow our page Life With Zoë

Until next time....
#zoedeespeaks

Friday, March 29, 2019

Well...It's Been A Minute...But ... :)

While I admit that consistency is still being perfected in me, I also will admit that I kinda got stuck since the last blog.  But here I am, in the ring again.  Lol

This will be short and quick... I just wanted to do a follow up on the last blog.  This month really went so quick.  I didn't realize it's been a whole month since my last blog and more importantly the update on my interview on the Tammie Tubbs show. 

I looked up and it was released... Interestingly enough!

So I'm just here to release that for today.  What's coming next...

A story of my adulterous heart.  We've got to address an issue with women in this culture and our need for affection - even at the risk of getting it from stolen territories!  So...yes...That's what we'll be talking about next.

Until then, if you haven't read the previous blog on Tammie Tubbs, you can read that here.

But you can watch the full video below! Enjoy!


Friday, March 8, 2019

Introducing "Zoë Dee": The Tammie Tubbs Show Part 2

Well, here I am again...and still excited.  Even more so I'm excited about this blog series concerning The Tammie Tubbs show.  You'll see here in the vlog how my very first television interview started.


The interview was located nine hours away and though the drive was long, and definitely exhausting - I can say that it was worth it.  We arrived at about 3am in the morning, and were super hungry.  Obviously, we couldn't go to sleep hungry, lol, so we found an IHOP close by.  After that, we checked into the hotel and completely crashed.  We slept about a good five hours before draggin' to get up, but the adrenaline that filled my body in excitement of this interview quickly displaced the fatigue I was feeling.  With it being a small town, I didn't expect to get lost.  *rolls eyes*  Man we passed by the building at least four times, and literally was at least twenty minutes late.   #confused  Smh...but we made it! And when we did, there was already a woman being interviewed and others sitting to the side waiting as well.  The sad part? I was hungry! Massively hungry lol and it didn't look like I was going anywhere anytime soon.  The interviews before me were so full of life that soon enough, it didn't matter.  It wasn't long (or at least didn't seem like it was long) before we were ready.  I was nervous because I had no idea what we'd be talking about, ya know? I'm a speaker, author, and publisher - interviewing me is like just taking a pick, I didn't know what to expect.  Seriously.  Anyway, I didn't want these blogs to be long and drawn out; that's why they're broken down into short vlogs....So come back next week for more! :) 

BUT...because I thank you for your time, I don't want you to leave this blog empty handed!  First, if you haven't check out the intro blog to this experience, you can click here to read that.  During the interview, I mention a few people I work with and I left a few copies of their books with Ms. Tubbs! So each week, during this blog series, we're giving away ONE book! This week's book that we're giving away is my sister, sister Author Shontal Brown's book - "UnWedded Wife."

"Unwedded Wife" is the testimony of a young woman who experienced "marriage" after "marriage" without the actual covenant of "marriage." As each relationship drained her emotionally, she begin to cry out to God. It was at this point that He showed her that she was an "unwedded wife" - committing to men who were spiritually married to her through sex but not legally married to her within her destiny in Him and divine order. Through this book, she shares her testimonies and hopes to speak to other "unwedded wives" - those women who repeat the cycle of long term relationships; submitting to man after man as if they were married. She prays that the Holy Ghost will reveal to the readers their value in Him and ultimately seek Him to unite them with the man of their destiny.


So this week, we're going to give away a free copy of her book! "A" meaning only one... sorry this time it can be only one.  However if you're interested in ordering a copy, you can visit our website link here.  But as for now, all you have to do is screenshot or download the picture below and upload to Facebook with the following caption:

 #unweddedwife *Tag* (@)The Tammie Tubbs Show  -- Click here to visit her page to like and follow!

THE FIRST PERSON to
 
***UPLOAD the picture below
***CAPTION "#unweddedwife" & TAG The Tammie Tubbs Show
***POST to personal page

will be the recipient of the free title!  


So that's it.  Until next week!

#zoedeespeaks #acall2purity 

Friday, March 1, 2019

Introducing "Zoë Dee": The Tammie Tubbs Show Part 1


What an EVENTFUL week!! And now, I can get the time to embrace the feeling.  A few months back, I was really waiting on the "next" move.  As a publisher, I'd published my last client's title and then another one of my own.  I hadn't been booked for another speaking event and I was really in a faith pity party.  Like a little girl saying, "Daddy but you saaaaaaaiiiiidddd."  But let me tell you - when you know the only thing in your best interest is to stay in His presence, you don't go out and make your own moves! OK! #lessons LOL....So I patiently waited for something to put the hands to work - big and small scale.  One morning I woke up to a notification - it was an invitation to be a guest on "The Tammie Tubbs Show."  Let me tell you what an honor this is.  First of all, Tammie published a book with me entitled "I Survived...Death, Depression, & Divorce."  The interesting thing?  I met Ms. Tammie Tubbs through another sister who I published also! From the first conversation we had, it was powerful! She overflows with encouraging words, effortlessly. As we went through the process of publishing her book, others that loved and trust her, entrusted our publishing company to publish their works.  Among those are "My Silent Cry",  "Blinded & Blind" by Renae Dickerson and "Another Level" by Tyson Thompson (visit here to see these titles).

  

Ms. Tubbs is not only an author and television host, she is a minister who is well known in the community and state for speaking life changing messages into women as well as and hosting life changing event!  She has a passion for youth as well.  Aside from that, she was nominated for the Gulf Coast Music Awards TV Personality category and voted as one of Mississippi's most influential African American women of the year.  There are so many accolades I could continue to name but the point is, she is indeed a phenomenal woman who I believe God is using to change lives!  She is the epitome of grace, love, and encouragement.  As I visited her set and watched her interview others before me, one thing that I loved about the other interviews was she gave people the freedom to tell people about the goodness of God, and how He changed their lives.  In a world where being a "Jesus" follower isn't always too popular, she allowed her guests to flow with wisdom.  She interacted with her guest with a joyful spirit, a humble attitude, and (as the Bible would say) a quiet spirit.  I won't go too much more into my experience but definitely look forward to next week's blog, which will include a vlog! I'm so excited!  Until then, be sure to follow Tammie Tubbs on Facebook and even visit her website here.

Until next week :)... you can read last week's blog What's the Price for Freedom (click title).  #happyreading

Oh! Wait! Also, next week we'll be giving away a copy of "My Silent Cry," "UnWedded Wife," and "#aCall2Purity"!  Don't miss it! :)

#zoedeespeaks #acall2purity #sexuallywise #sexualskeletons #40daystofreedom

Monday, February 18, 2019

What's The Price for Freedom?

Soooooooooooooo....

It's official.  It's out.  And as I reflect back on the launch of this book, it means more to me than the other books.  See, the other books were more like "I'm telling my story, and you're following" right?  I mean I know that through my story, people will be reached through the power of the Holy Spirit.  But...  They weren't really....really, interactive ya know?  This one though?  This one is different because it's a little more intense.  It challenges my readers to look in the mirror.  It challenges them to the depth of their past, present, and future.  It challenges their relationships with everyone, including the Lord.  It challenges them to hold themselves accountable to emotional and spiritual freedom.  So, anyway.  I had a total of four beta readers but...As of now, I have only one review as you can see but I'm expecting more to roll in.  I know that it's something that was written from the Father; that's the stance that I take on it and I  continue to believe that this book is for a specific audience who need have a specific emotional and spiritual need.  I loved how the Father connected with his readers in it.  I say at this point - it's not my book, I'm simply the vessel that was chosen to carry the message.  It's not the easiest message I might add, but it is one that I know will outlive me because it stands on the eternal Word of God - it cannot fail.  I believe that just as He told Jeremiah, this Word will be watched over by Him as He performs the very task it was sent to do!  Here's to freedom! :)  Oh, so what's the price for freedom?  Just my life. :)  

By the way, if you're interested in any of the previous titles, they can all be found right here on the website! 
#zoedeespeaks #acall2purity #sexualskeletons #sexuallywise #40daystofreedom



Sunday, February 10, 2019

True Success (With Vlog)

As I was studying the book of Joshua one day, this "formula" (I suppose we can call it), stuck out to me.  I love studying the old testament and receive a lot of revelation in it for today's walk with the Father, especially in the area of spiritual warfare.  This particular day, these words stood out as Joshua is about to lead the children of Israel into the promised land .  The Father has already made it clear that Joshua is to be the next leader and to not be afraid.  He's already promised Him that if He keeps the book of the Law before him, then he will be successful.  But I paid particular attention this day to the steps of their "Crossover" into the promised land and I share in this video how important it is for us to apply the same steps.  I don't believe that success has changed much according to the Word of God.  The chapter I am referring to is Joshua 3: 

And Joshua rose early in the morning; and they removed from Shittim, and came to Jordan, he and all the children of Israel, and lodged there before they passed over.
And it came to pass after three days, that the officers went through the host;
And they commanded the people, saying, When ye see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your God, and the priests the Levites bearing it, then ye shall remove from your place, and go after it.
Yet there shall be a space between you and it, about two thousand cubits by measure: come not near unto it, that ye may know the way by which ye must go: for ye have not passed this way heretofore.
And Joshua said unto the people, Sanctify yourselves: for to morrow the Lord will do wonders among you.
6 And Joshua spake unto the priests, saying, Take up the ark of the covenant, and pass over before the people. And they took up the ark of the covenant, and went before the people.
And the Lord said unto Joshua, This day will I begin to magnify thee in the sight of all Israel, that they may know that, as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee.
And thou shalt command the priests that bear the ark of the covenant, saying, When ye are come to the brink of the water of Jordan, ye shall stand still in Jordan.
And Joshua said unto the children of Israel, Come hither, and hear the words of the Lord your God.
10 And Joshua said, Hereby ye shall know that the living God is among you, and that he will without fail drive out from before you the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Hivites, and the Perizzites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Jebusites.
11 Behold, the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth passeth over before you into Jordan.
12 Now therefore take you twelve men out of the tribes of Israel, out of every tribe a man.
13 And it shall come to pass, as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of Jordan, that the waters of Jordan shall be cut off from the waters that come down from above; and they shall stand upon an heap.
14 And it came to pass, when the people removed from their tents, to pass over Jordan, and the priests bearing the ark of the covenant before the people;
15 And as they that bare the ark were come unto Jordan, and the feet of the priests that bare the ark were dipped in the brim of the water, (for Jordan overfloweth all his banks all the time of harvest,)
16 That the waters which came down from above stood and rose up upon an heap very far from the city Adam, that is beside Zaretan: and those that came down toward the sea of the plain, even the salt sea, failed, and were cut off: and the people passed over right against Jericho.
17 And the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan, and all the Israelites passed over on dry ground, until all the people were passed clean over Jordan.
Please subscribe to the YouTube channel as I will be posting blogs and vlogs this year! Yall pray for me, lol! 

#zoedeespeaks

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

The Day I Lost My Virginity

Now that I've got your attention, I'm back again..yes...with #aCall2Purity.

It's been a long but passionate weekend as we kicked off our "40 Days to Freedom" *which releases 2/14/19* promotion with Kindle versions of the titles "Sexually Wise", "Sexual Skeletons", and "#aCall2Purity."  I found it irony that the "#aCall2Purity" sale would begin on the anniversary of the date that I lost my virginity - February 6, 1999 (at 13 years old); sadly, much like my generations before me. I was now, a statistic.


It's for this reason that I am very vocal in helping to influence this generation and the next, and the next, and the next in the area of sexual purity.  It's, too, because during my purity journey, the Lord broke my heart and healed it at the same time - all during "Valentine's weekend" fifteen years ago.  At that time, it was four months after I'd decided I had to answer my call to purity.  It's also because I understand that to walk pure in spirit, soul, and body - it takes the power of the Holy Spirit.  See, my story would be different had I not failed a few times, shamefully so no one can give me a rebuttal about walking sexually pure!  But it's for this reason, "40 Days to Freedom" will be the most life transforming title I've written yet.  Why?  Because it doesn't just include my testimony - it is designed to be the beginning of your testimony.  Each day equips you with powerful key scriptures, prayers, affirmations, action steps, and journal space to document your entire transition.

I'm sorry if the title is a little misleading but I won't get into the bulk of the day that I lost my virginity, nor my seasons, and how they influenced me - that's why the books are written!  That again is why they will be on sale for $0.99 this entire month.  I'll even do one better for you, as my readers -

If you download each of these titles and tag me (on FacebookInstagram, or Twitter) in a screenshot showing the cover of each title (Sexually Wise, Sexual Skeletons, #aCall2Purity), I'll give you two discount options:

1. Order any of the paperback titles at $5.55 
or
2. Receive $5.99 OFF your order of "40 Days to Freedom" 

(Don't forget to tag me in a public post so that I can see it).  Just in case you're wondering how to access the Kindle titles, click here!  And as always, don't hesitate to leave an honest review!

#zoedeespeaks #acall2purity


Thursday, January 31, 2019

Sexually Wise is FREE :)


In preparation for the new release, "40 Days to Freedom" ( a devotional journal) I am uber excited (yes UBER EXCITED) to launch thirteen full days of promo starting with this title, "Sexually Wise."  This title was given to me as I was studying Proverbs one day but the message itself was given to me years ago.  Like everything else I've done, I ran from this message too.  See, I thought, "Why would people hear this."  But now, it's all about obedience.  And in this season, I have to walk in obedience because I desire to see the will of my Father manifest on this Earth.  So what is this "Sexually Wise"?  Essentially it's a weapon against the lies I heard growing up concerning men.  From "Men will be men," to "All men cheat, it doesn't mean that they don't love you," and more.  And while I believe that a man can love you and cheat on you, I do not believe this should be accepted.  So where did this journey ultimately begin?  Years ago at my kitchen table when I asked God, 'WHY." I ended up in Proverbs 5, 6, and 7 and studied these chapters in detail.  There I was looking at the key answer to not just MY problem, but the problem of most women I'd encountered! 

First, the Word showed me that a man that commits adultery lacked wisdom.  He began to unfold to me through scripture how the "strange" and "adulterous" woman would be death to men.  He began to show me that he instructed men to embrace the wife of their youth.  He not only showed me that - but showed how he warned men with what to look for!  I was intrigued.  Honestly, so here I am years later - back on assignment - *sigh* relaying the message that men can indeed live pure lifestyles.  So here, for a limited time (literally February 1 - 3), the KINDLE edition of this title will be FREE.                                                                                                                                                                         
This is the thing: I know that the world is about to go completely nuts with "love" this and "love" that this month.  In it, most men will be drawn away by seducing spirits, spirits of adultery, etc. in the "spirit" of having someone, if only for a moment. 
So this is my part.  This is my warfare; I am declaring that men will be set free this month from addictions of sex, porn, bisexuality, etc.  I believe in the Word and that the Word is truth.  This book includes 8 key scriptures, along with defining "Divine Intimacy" in marriage, protecting your woman under the covenant of marriage, and identifying your Proverbs 31 woman.  As my Youth pastor said - there are two types of women - ones you marry and ones you don't; and not all men know the difference.  So anyway...AMAZON KINDLE + SEXUALLY WISE! #aCall2Purity

Click here to order your FREE kindle edition now!
If you want the paperback copy itself, you can order it right on the page, simply look on the right side of the page!

#zoedeespeaks #acall2purity #sexuallywise #sexualskeletons

The following clips are a videos I did while writing the books! #pressplay


       


Friday, January 25, 2019

The Promise of Prosperity: Part II


We're back! Not only with part two of this blog but a complete four weeks straight of blogging. LOL Yes, I'm proud of myself but most importantly thanking the Holy Spirit for helping me to stay consistent!  It is by far the best thing ever to see goals checked off as needed. But anyway, let's just

jump right into this thing. 

Last week, we talked about believing in what some call, "The Gospel Prosperity."  If you haven't read that - stop - like now, and read it here.

Now that that's done with, let me start with a scripture that spoke to me loud and clear and why my expectations are what they are.  I'm so tired of a mindset that is willing to bless/pay for everything except spiritual things.  It's not only unjust but completely not scriptural.  

Let me break down this lie: Matthew 10:8-10
Yeshua (Jesus) sent out His disciples and said gave them very key instructions. 1. Heal the sick.  2. Raise the dead. 3. Cleanse lepers. 4. Cast out demons. Then he says, "Freely you receive, freely give." STOP. Freely you have received what? He is saying, you have been freely given the power to do numbers 1-4; you can't charge people for a power that isn't basically yours.  Example: If I have the power to cast out a demon, I'm not going to say, "It'll be 30 bucks eye to set you free!"  I submit to you that verse 9 does not attach itself to verse 8 but to verse 10! How can I say that?  Because first of all, we see grammatically the use of the word "or" which connects verse 9 and 10 together.  Here we see, if we read the scriptures accurately what is being said; He commands them - "Do not acquire gold, silver, or copper for your money belts (in other words, don't ask for money take your money with you) or a bag for your journey, or even two coats, or sandals, or a staff." What a minute Yeshua! So I'm supposed to go out and do these miracles but not suppose to take ANYTHING with me - no money, no coats, no sandals, etc.? WHY.....?! The answer is found right here in the scripture - "for the worker is worthy of his support."  So if I'm not supposed to be supporting myself, out doing the work of the Lord, "WHO" then is supposed to support me? Yeshua Himself is saying that ministry is WORK and there should be support for those that deliver do the work of the Kingdom.  I'll also add, it's an itself to our Father to be our here struggling, begging people to support you and you're claiming it all in His name! My God!!!! He's the Creator of the UNIVERSE!  No, this principle is HIS divine set up!


Another scriptural text that supports this, and trust me, I've got plenty but I usually leave you with three and then suggest you study the Word and ask for wisdom and revelation on your own; and oh boy I pray that you receive it so that we can run this gospel through the tops of the mountains!   If we continue reading, Matthew 10:40 - 41 states, "He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.  He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward."  That word "reward" is "misthos" (3408) which means pay for service - hire, reward, wages.  


Paul himself was supported through the churches and truthfully told the churches that it was only fair that those who sow spiritually should reap carnally!  This is not to be confused with those that are false (as the Bible warns you of anyway).  What I'm referring to is being under spiritual leadership and not paying tithes or offerings to take care of the house of God that is feeding you.   I have been under leadership for twelve years and no, I have not always tithe.  Those were the worse days for me financially and when I went back and asked God why, He took me right to His Word - to take care of HIS house!  I always, ALWAYS, saw and still see the effects of blessing my church home and my Pastors and Youth Pastors.  My heart grieves because I don't do it to the extent that I want to.  Here are a few things I want to leave you with: 

1. What a pastor can impart into you is life changing and life saving.  It is the Word of God - there is no amount of money that can sustain you (or them) more than the spiritual seeds that they sow.  Therefore, whatever you give has to be given sacrificially and cheerfully because kingdom ministry is work, it is indeed a sacrifice.  It's not about the value of the dollar - but the heart of the sacrifice!  
2. It is obedience to God's Word and aligning yourself to His promises.  You cannot out give God; trust me!  Many times my blessings haven't come through money but pure favor! I've been fed, I've been hired on the spot for a job I didn't even apply for, I've stayed in 4 and 5 star hotels for weekends at no expense; I've had provisions occur that just worked out supernaturally! I could go on and on.  God IS faithful.  ANY time I wasn't giving, I did not see overflow.  Trust me, I have tried God at His Word and I hold HIM to His promises.  You have to be bold and willing enough to trust God at His Word. I'm not done yet.  There are promises in this Word and I want ALL that belong to me, especially if I am sacrificing my life!

3. Did God tell us in any scripture to worry about what they did with the money after it's left your hand? No.  I don't believe He does.  See, once again, this is faith.  You don't care about what any body else does with money that you pay for stuff for except when it comes to the church.  GET OUTTA HERE!  The money should take care of the house of God, (Malachi 3:10).  Lights don't get paid by your "Amen."  And if a church can barely sustain itself, how can it do anything for the community?!  **In the Old Testament, yes the tithes were paid to the Levites in more than just money; but really you are going to use that excuse - here - that only makes for it to be less excuses. (Even here the Levites were the ones that worked in the "church" and taken care of by the tithes!) Are you tithing any of your food stamps, your groceries, your talents, your services, your time, your child support, etc. to your church?

By the way: How is 10% too much for tithes but not enough when a person offers a 10% sale? Hmmm....
4. Be led by God to a Pastor of His heart and trust that God will handle His people.  Don't block your blessings not being a tither or giver to your spiritual house.  Bring God your best, and your first.  People say, "I can't afford to tithe." No, you can't afford not to tithe!

And where it concerns people that use their talents for the kingdom as I do; it is ministry.  I have a gift of teaching, speaking and writing.  I know for a fact that each book has been God inspired and that the burden of this message isn't to go around with handing every book out for free and taking my own money to go and travel the world.  This I know.  He has commanded me that if I trust Him, He will provide.  I'm not expecting angels to bring me supernatural provision through the sky.  I'm expecting Him to align people of faith to book me to speak, to buy these books, and to honor the spirit of God in me; to receive me in the name of who I come in.  It is an insult to the Kingdom of heaven to want everything free from workers of the kingdom, yet we pay for any and everything else.  Those that work for the kingdom of darkness have riches and gain; how much more should we see the favor of God over our lives that sacrifice our lives for the kingdom.  The difference is the matter of the heart.  If God said do it for free - yes, I would.  And I have blessed more people than not with my writings and wisdom.  There is a time for that.  But this is not the season.  This is kingdom business.

And if you don't think God is "business" savvy, you really aren't reading your Word.  I'm going to say that boldly.  Yeshua gave a parable of men with talents.  The men invested in their talents and brought MORE talents. The one that buried his talent - Yeshua called him evil!  The Proverbs 31 woman?  She was a business woman! She owned real estate, she owned vineyards, etc.  She took care of her workers!  There is another scriptural reference that tells you to invest in different currencies and trade overseas.  The Bible even speaks on how we shouldn't be in debt - which almost every one is in! We've been blinded by this system of the world instead of God's system.  They are not the same and we have to choose which we will have faith in. Listen, money is a defense and God always provided for His children!  Go and do some research on money, business, and the Bible.  In the Old Testament, we were not broke! Jesus wasn't broke! He had everything that He needed and what He didn't have - He spoke it to be! Oh how we've been deceived! Our God walks on gold and wants His children starving, broke, indebted, and "robbing Peter to pay Paul."  What kind of God do you think He is?!  I am upset and in a passionate outrage that my Father has been quite misrepresented! And in this season, I am expecting more over my life and the lives of those attached to me for this very reason! 

With the government shutdown active and the U.S. on the verge of an economic collapse - if you are a Christian I suggest you get to using this Word in your life and not only that, aligning yourself with the Word!  The enemy has rights to attack our lives when we give him permission and this includes our money.  I fear for those that have put their trust in their job and not in the promises of God. I've gotta go, feel free to comment yet I'll warn you - I don't debate!  The Word is bond! :) Look forward to next week's blog on "The Crossover!"

#zoedeespeaks #acall2purity #sexualskeletons #sexuallywise

New release available for pre-order now at Witness Legend or right here to the right of this page! 
Be blessed!