Transitions

For months, I dreamed of being in hotels.  I didn't know why, but I would wake up and say, "We were in a hotel again."

It was strange because it never dawned on me 'why' I would be dreaming of staying in a hotel when, to me, I was planted exactly where I was supposed to be.  

What's the saying, "The calm before the storm?" or "There is always warning before destruction." 

Well, I guess I prefer to say, "He will guide me into all truth and show me things to come." (John 16:13)

Then life happened.

Shift after shift, transition after transition.  I couldn't see further than the next day and everything I relied on, every source of security became..well...not so secure.  From relationships, friends and family to even the career.  It was as if the Most High intentionally just picked them out of my life, one at a time.

I sat many days unsure of the next move to make; crying "Lord, I don't know which way to go but I just want it to be in you."  

See, like most women, I crave to feel secure.  So much has happened in my life where I clam at the very thought of change.  I don't like change.  I don't like to be uncomfortable.  I don't like to not know what is about to happen.  See, I need the outward circumstances in my life to make me feel as though everything is "grounded" because that's when life makes the most sense, you see?

What was shown to me though was simple.  I'd placed my trust in everything except for who I said my trust was placed in.  I trusted in the consistency of man made things - the career, the support, the houses, the cars...I mean, you name it.  To me, everything was in it's place and so it was just as it is supposed to be.

Until it wasn't.

And I had to look up first and then bow to my knees.  I had to repent for placing my trust in things and people instead of wholeheartedly in my Father.  I had to realize that I could lose everything in this world that others would see valuable and be in peace that I still had everything in this world.  How?  Why?  Because my Father is the Father of the universe.  My faith is currency therefore I am never in lack.

I sit here now on the brink of so many possibilities in life.  Things that could soar and be successful or things that could flop and fail.  But I'll never know without putting the faith into it, without getting the work done.  I would never know if I had never lost everything I thought I needed to hold on to.  

And in moments of fear - because let's be real, the unknown can always be fearful, I ask myself if I will choose faith (trust in Him) or fear.  

Faith has pushed me through boundaries and borders that I never imagined crossing.  Real faith forces you to see a reality that is only visible in your mind.  That sounds crazy right?  But then I think about something my Pastor said: We're asked to believe in things all the time that make no sense.  We're asked to believe in a God that parts a Red Sea.  We're asked to believe in a Savior that healed and raised people from the dead - that even He Himself, was raised from the dead.   I mean, what in the scriptures has happened that makes sense?

So I sit here in the midst of a season I refer to as "Transition."  When the Most High gave me enough sense to ask what the hotels meant, that's exactly what it means spiritually.  It shows a process of "transition" from one path of life to another.  I have to trust that since He showed me well in advance, then that must mean that He has everything figured out for me.  Therefore, my only assignment is to trust and obey.

Isn't it interesting how the Holy Spirit leads us and guides us and we just miss it?  #selah

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