Soo... I had a memory. Well, actually, it was a planted again memory I guess - triggered more so. I was having a conversation with a relative of mine and they made a comment in reference to it. It had long gone from my memory so it took me a few seconds to register what they were talking about. I did a short laugh and changed the subject because it was uncomfortable to think about.
Fast forward a few weeks and I'm watching a movie with my family. My son and I are talking and he makes reference to this word, the same word I shared with my relative. In that, he gives me the definition of the word.
I went back to watching the movie, but the definition my son had just given me... made something click in my spirit.
I had the thought, "That's why he wanted me to call him that."
I said to myself, "Hmmm. The sex was submission."
Because it's a part of my past I think that it is disrespectful to tap into, and because I was enjoying the movie *lol* I tried to shake the thoughts, not trying to place emphasis on any of it.
But it was like a faucet turning from a slow drip to full force, "If you could do that for him, it shouldn't be no problem calling your husband lord." I heard myself speak to myself, as if I was talking to someone else. My audience.
I smiled to myself, taking in the lesson I believe I was hearing.
I smiled to myself, in thought of my husband and affirming even more reason to call him lord; because I really do desire to be the most righteously submissive wife ever, not just pleasing to the Most High but I am beyond grateful for him. I nodded to myself, continuing to watch the movie.
But these words continued to flow. So I picked up my laptop to give you this.
SEX. IS. SUBMISSION.
This is how our bodies (as women) are designed, so that we assimilate easier. What am I saying?
Assimilate. Let's start by definition:1. take in (information, ideas, or culture) and understand fully. absorb and integrate (people, ideas, or culture) into a wider society or culture.become absorbed and integrated into a society or culture.
2. cause (something) to resemble; liken.
"philosophers had assimilated thought to perception"
come to resemble.
"the Churches assimilated to a certain cultural norm"
3. ate Middle English: from Latin assimilat- ‘absorbed, incorporated’
When I studied the effects of sex on women for my RAW Sex course, I learned that biologically when a woman has sex with a man her body releases hormones that "bind" her to the man. Not only that, studies show that the DNA of a man stays in the woman after they have sex. It embeds into her, slowly but surely causing her to what? Assimilate. But. This only happens for the woman.
Woah. Say what?
Yes, this only happens for the woman becauuuuuusssse sis... you were designed to assimilate. He was not designed to assimilate to you. By nature, with his seed in you, with his DNA transforming you - you are "his." Whether he protects and covers you as he should biblically or dismisses you - once he's had you, he's had you. Forever. However you don't carry the same authority over him, not biologically - not spiritually.
Woman was designed to assimilate to man, and the way that that assimilation was to come was and is through sex, divine intimacy.
To the degree that your sex life is on fire, is likely the degree of your assimilation as a woman to the man. As I thought back on the experiences that led to these thoughts or unctions in my spirit - I understood why I was so assimilated to this person. Our sexual history was dominating and the experience that triggered this memory made it more plain. I had told him for months what I wasn't going to do. He didn't get mad. He would laugh, click his tongue, wink, and say, "Ok," very nonchalantly.
I don't quite know how long it took, but I did it. Here's the thing. It's not the fact that I did it. It's the fact that when I did it - it was during ... guess what we were doing... having sex. At that moment, he celebrated his dominion over me even more. That's a part of what sex is for men. Dominion, because - stay with me - biblically, once he has had sex with you, he owns you. You are his property. This is why adultery (by biblical definition) is based on the status of the woman, and why it was punishable by death. To have sex with a married woman was violating, stealing another man's prized possession; but not just his most prized possession. The Bible says that we become one, so when a man has sex with another man's wife - he is violating that man himself.
The War on Biblical Sex
Years ago, another revelation came to me about sex and with that the description of sex as "divine intimacy." I asked the Most High one time why it was so much easier to have sex with my (then) husband when he was my boyfriend than when he became my husband. Then, when I created the community for wives, I found that many of the sisters also had the same problem. It was easier to have sex before we came into marriage. I began to ask more questions to the Lord as in intercessor for marriages and the revelation was plain.
Sex = ONE. When a couple has sex, it reinforces their oneness in the spiritual realm. Think about it, when couples hit it off most of the time the most electric part of their relationship that makes them them is the sexual chemistry. You increase your bond every time you have intimacy, whether you are married or not. So imagine what happens to the couple in the spirit realm when their intimacy isn't there.
Do they become one more or less? You want to see a power couple?
A righteous man + a righteous woman +. great consistent sex = the power couple.
This should show us how powerful sex is. It's so powerful that the enemy endorses and uses it for his own deceptive realm while at the same time taking a full blown attack on the lives of married couples. Distractions, fights, illnesses - the enemy will stop at nothing to distract your divine intimacy. Unfortunately for you, you entered into war when you chose a marriage bed. (Don't get me wrong, you play Russian roulette with the consequences of sex outside of the marriage bed, and that's worse.) These are the subjects the church doesn't like to discuss but this is one of the ways that we eradicate whoredom and divorce. The more submissive a woman is, the more she is assimilated to him. The more a husband dominates his wife in the bedroom, the more she is assimilated to him, and the more submissive she is.
In His Likeness
By definition, we are called to absorb the men that we have sex with. In the context of its design, this is a good thing. Talk to an elder that's about 65 or 70, who was with her first experience and her first experience only all of her life and you'll see one of the most submitted, head over heals, wise and blessed wife you've ever seen.
As we absorb them, the DNA changes us.
Have you ever seen a couple together so long "they look alike?" Do they look alike or is his DNA manifesting in her phenotype? Have you ever seen a woman get with a man and completely change? She eats what he eats. She likes what he likes. She listens to what he listens to. Lord, don't let her get pregnant with his child? Her cravings become his favorite foods, foods she never even likes! Hmm?
Why do we concern ourselves with our daughters not being with the "bad guys" and etc. What usually happens? He's a drug dealer, she pushing right with him? Why do "church girls" usually become pulled away from the church when they meet a man that isn't in the church? Come on ...
Don't get me wrong, again, I've seen also a woman get with a man and because of the caliber of that man she becomes the most feminine and successful version of herself ever seen. I say all the time even myself that because of my husband, my audience has the best version of me.
I am a replica of him, in detached form. I am one with him, in a submissive - "I am yours" way. He is one with me too, but in a - "You are mine, I own you, therefore I am responsible for you and responsible to Yahweh for you." (This is actually what Paul is saying when he said that every man should have his own wife and every woman should have her own husband.)
Divine Intimacy
A healthy sex life is not just important; it's detrimental to your marriage. It is the lifeline of your marriage. In sex you become "one flesh." This is what the scriptures mean, you are one in spirit. As a woman, the more you become "one" with various men (aka high body count), you lose your identity in those encounters. You become assimilated (maybe some more and maybe some less depending on sexual chemistry and other factors) to multiple personalities of the men you bonded with and became the spiritual property of. (Insert case for study of multiple personalities disorder maybe? Is it all making sense? Ok, I wont' go down the rabbit hole here.)
So now you have a new problem. You aren't you. You are the compilation of men you've been with until you decide to submit yourself to the fire of purity and let the Most High begin to cleanse you. And sis fire burns like hell, I ain't gone lie to you. Every man doesn't leave the same impressions on you and the same attachments, so their residue won't look the same.
It took me 13 years to be released in the spirit from one man, and as I look back over my relationships - he was one of 2 men I've ever been the most assimilated with out of all my partners. This includes a man I was married to and with collectively for a sum of 10 years, and bore his kids. What does that say? The assimilation was different, as was the intimacy. I was also younger, had not been with as many guys sexually and I was only having intimacy with him. Is that to say I didn't love my ex-husband? No. What it should show is the nature of woman and the power of sex. It should speak of the power of oneness and domination that we are vulnerable to. It is bondage to be with a man you love and that loves and commits to you, while being weak to another man or men. Why? Because that is how we were created and why we have to take divine intimacy seriously!
It's not a history for me to be proud of but I share it in hopes of making this plain in example of how important closing your legs and keeping them close until covenant marriage is. One thing that I am proud of now and I hope to give you encouragement if you're at the beginning of your cleansing stage or realizing in this moment of reading this blog that you need cleansing. I am able to celebrate full purity with my lord husband for the longest period of time ever in my experiences. Because of who he is and our relationship, he makes me regret that I didn't reserve myself for him in totality. Still, I am honored, proud, and fully enthused to say to him, "No man has touched me since I've been with you."
In conclusion - I leave you with this,
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 KJV
If you're looking for a quick study on the subjects of sex biblically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually - check out my Raw Sex course on GumRoad here!
Speak Life, Be Light. Show Love.
- ZoΓ« Deeπ