DISCLAIMER: TRIGGER WARNING. THIS IS A TOUGH MESSAGE TO DIGEST IF:
A) YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED ABUSE
B) YOU ARE MORE ASSIMILATED WITH THE CULTURE THAN THE KINGDOM.
Welllll... now that that's out of the way. Let's get into this now shall we. I think I can definitely understand off top WHY this particular blog was delayed, and even AFTER I published it - delayed more to where I had to troubleshoot for the first time in EIGHT years this blog. I ask you to stop reading, and say a short prayer for yourself as you read it.
Take pencil and paper out - and slowly digest every point, asking the Holy Spirit to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding, as well as a "rhema" word just for you.
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You ready? You prayed right?
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Ok...
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We're going into the meat of this thing - the real foundation. It's all good for you to understand who you are and why you were made, however our culture has changed the game for sure on what "husband" means. By the way, have you read part one? Ok, you can maybe wait and read this one first, but ... go ahead and take a minute to NOTE on your paper "Go back to part one AFTER this." Write it.
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Ok, now... Because I have the honor to talk to women often, I usually hear the notion that they can't wait to get a husband so that they don't have to "pay all the bills," "take care of the kids by themselves," "fix car repairs anymore," and a lot of other very "gender" specific roles. I have never heard a woman be quick to say, "I'm so ready to get a husband so I can submit to his household, work for him, and have his babies."
I'm just being real. I have never heard it. So, without further delay - 'cause it's already been over a year since starting this series (smh)... let's get into understanding the ROLE of a husband.
HE WAS MADE TO RULE, POSSESS, AND COVER
See, we seem to love the idea of "the protection" and the "provider" because naturally we're supposed to desire that. Yet, most women seem to have a problem understanding that a man should only protect and provide for women because she/they belong to him.
Genesis 3:16 (KJV)
“...thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
This wasn’t punishment — it was positioning. Headship is always the order — man was made first, and woman for him.
1 Corinthians 11:8-9
“For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”
This may sound controversial to the world — but this is kingdom alignment. In Hebraic/biblical culture, a man doesn’t just marry a woman. He acquires her as a possession and her covering — along with his children.
HEBRAIC WORD STUDY – BA'AL (בַּעַל)
The Hebrew word often used for husband is baʿal (Strong’s H1166). It means:
- Lord
- Master
- Owner
- Husband
The same root word is used for “possessor” in the Hebrew. So biblically, a husband isn’t just a romantic partner — he is:
- The head
- The covering
- The possessor of the wife and the house
One of the reasons I encourage women to address or at least acknowledge this is because it can trigger a response in your psyche to function in your role, and respect his. If you address him as lord, master, priest, owner — your behavior will likely modify.
One of my pet peeves is hearing women call their husbands "boy" or "nigga" — and then turn around and say they respect him. He is lord. You don't speak to a lord any kind of way. He is master. You don't treat him any kind of way. See the mindset shift? Want to know if you have an issue with this? Try saying, "Good morning, my Lord," or "Have a great day, Master." Doesn't the scripture say we are daughters of Sarah when we act in the same manner, addressing our husbands as "lord"? Just as wearing dresses and skirts only creates a physical representation of this dynamic — so does verbally addressing your husband in his rightful title.
Exodus 21:3
“If he came in by himself, he shall go out by himself: if he were married, then his wife shall go out with him.”
The word translated here for “married” is baʿal — literally meaning “he became master/owner of a wife.” This is why Scripture calls the wife a help to her husband’s mission — not her own. And that’s also why his role is so heavily burdened with responsibility before Yah.
NUMBERS 30 – AUTHORITY OVER HER VOWS
Numbers 30:6-15 makes it plain:
If a wife makes a vow and her husband hears it — he has the authority to confirm or nullify it.
Why? Because she is under his spiritual jurisdiction. He bears the weight of what is allowed or disallowed in the home. This is not control — it’s covenant authority.
Even with an unrighteous husband, when I submitted to him, I saw favor. I recall wanting to let a young lady spend the night one time and my ex-husband was out of town. He said plainly, "No." Some may have called it control. But I was under his spiritual jurisdiction. I found out a year later that she was a witch, and so was the young lady that was with her that I'd just acquainted with. A year later, I was divorced. I opened up a hell of a pandora's box of sin — entangling with one of the women. In repentance, the Holy Spirit showed me that because of my marriage — the witches could not have access to me, even when they tried. When I divorced and rebelled in adultery — guess who I opened the door to?
Sis, marriage isn't just about the wedding dress, the bridal party, and how many people show up to see you! That is American marriage. This is not BIBLICAL marriage. I'm sorry to tell you — the Disney stories were simply setups.
“But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow... of none effect: and the Lord shall forgive her.”
Let that settle: If he overrides her vow, Yah respects his headship so much that He honors it. That’s spiritual possession. That’s covering. That’s authority.
SELAH & APPLICATION
1 Corinthians 11:3
“The head of every man is Christ; the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”
This is not about value — it’s about divine rank and responsibility. When a man takes a wife, he doesn’t just love her — he acquires responsibility for her:
- Her spiritual direction
- Her covering
- Her protection and provision
So sis, when you submit to your husband, you’re not being “less than.” You are walking in alignment with the government of Yah. To rebel against that order is to reject not just him — but the One who established it.
That whole, "That don't mean he can tell you what to do!" is a lie. That's EXACTLY what it means. But sis, this is not OPPRESSION. This is POSITION.
Can we honestly say — when left to ourselves — that we are better off spiritually? Being educated and highly paid doesn't put you above the order in Scripture. As a matter of fact, that comes under his jurisdiction too.
Why would Yah do that to us? That’s a western cultural mindset. The real question should be: "Why does Yah love me so much to cover me?"
You are His daughter — His prized possession. If you really study Scriptures — everything is set up to COVER you. Biblically, as seen in Numbers 30, the woman goes from one authority to the next: from father to husband. There is no in-between. So what are we doing?
REFLECTION QUESTIONS:
- How has the biblical meaning of “husband” challenged your previous understanding?
- Do you see how headship is more than leadership — it’s ownership with accountability?
- How can we as wives support our husband’s role without resisting or resenting it?
- What false ideas from the world do we need to unlearn about manhood and marriage?
✅ CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK:
If you're married, reverence his role — with your words and your prayers.
Speak to Yah in prayer this week:
“Abba, help me to honor the authority You placed in my husband — not as a burden, but as a blessing. Align my heart with Your order.”
Bonus: Study Numbers 30 and write out 3 takeaways on spiritual headship and accountability.
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