The DEATH of ZOEY NOELLE OLIVER.
I deleted the blog. I deleted the Facebook page. I didn't delete the email though. I thought, gotta go do that so, I did.
I logged back in to finally delete the email. As I logged into the email, the Holy Spirit said, "Take notice to the password. The password was 'myworldBYme'. I said 'WOW'. I was really into MYself. I could have cried right then.
I was so out of the will of my Father man...Think about this too.
What did Judas betray the Most High with?
A KISS. INTERESTING RIGHT???????????? WHAT did I choose to represent this 'new life' of BETRAYAL to my LORD?! LIPS?!
"MY world." SEE how the enemy gets us?! NAH...IT WASN'T MY WORLD. I was not thinking or hearing of my own, but of the master I served - the devil. At this point, this season of my life (November 2014 - September 2017 THREE YEARS HA!!) I had taken it upon myself that it was my life and no one else was going to limit me. No one else was going to determine how far I went. See, I'd been abused and controlled mentally and emotionally and I charged that to the Most High. I was going to determine, at that point in my life, that whatever I wanted then it was up to ME to get. Man oh man!!! Don't tell me what a wounded soul won't cause you to do! Those that are lost will by default become servants of the enemy.
What did He say?! He wished that we were hot or cold!! But see, to me - I couldn't trust the Most High to protect my heart. To me, I'd prayed through, worshiped through, cried through, churched through, loved through...I mean, you name it. I did it. See how the same strategy that was used on Eve in the garden is still being used? The devil planted the seed in my mind that the Most High was withholding something back from me. I simply wanted a nice career, a family, and to be a good leader.
But what I've found is that no amount of tongues MAKES things right automatically. You gotta put a lot more faith behind your words. Because in the midst of trials and tribulations is when faith is really tested and not matter how that situation worked out, I should have NEVER TURNED MY BACK ON THE MOST HIGH. I won't go into details but I believed that the Most High still had a plan for me after the divorce.
But my faith was shaken. I had the same passions, but who was gonna listen to a broken and divorced woman talk about staying married?? The enemy planted my mind with so many seeds. I felt I had messed it up too much. He'd given me a task and I'd failed. But I also believe that in that moment I learned that if the Most High allowed it to happen then He had a purpose in it. But I couldn't believe that my Father would allow me to break so much, to become the woman I'd become when He knew my heart was desiring simply what HE desired.
So I closed my heart to trusting Him.
I remember hearing in worship that His heart broke too. He didn't want me to experience that but He wanted me to rely more on Him, to experience Him. See He doesn't always answer prayers like we think He will. At the end of the day, everyone has free will BUT the Father says ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR OUR GOOD. I began to take bits and pieces of the scriptures I wanted. But my heart became more and more lukewarm as I began my life as "Zoey Noelle Oliver."
The enemy was allowed to take the name that Yahweh gave me to represent the NEW LIFE He was going to break through me. A life that would impact the world! See He told me, "DOUBLE FOR YOUR TROUBLE" long before that even; He'd said "I'm gonna make your name great for MY sake" long before the event occurred.
I heard all these great promises before. BUT how else could I really rely on Him? I My absentee father issues were dividing my heart and soul. I charged Yahweh with what I felt like He allowed to come upon me for harm but truthfully, it was all for my GOOD.
See, NO MATTER the trial, no matter the tribulation, NO MATTER HOW BAD IT LOOKS IN THE NATURAL, trust HIM.
I have experienced situations now where trials came but He's carried me through them with so much peace. Remember the time Yeshua was on the boat sleep during the storm! I believe that that was a necessary thing to place in the scriptures because what it represents His attitude in the midst of what looks like a dying situation.
As I prayed through my concerns during that season, the Holy Spirit gave me a scripture from Jonah and I had peace about the decision. My mistake was not trusting the Most High in that storm though. I was frantic like the disciples, "I'm gonna die in this!" When the Most High already knew the fate of that thing. I didn't run into His arms and under the shadow of His wings. I ran into the arms of another man. A man I'd allowed to break me before, multiple times. A door Yahweh had closed twice already. How is it that in being broken from one man, I ran back to another man that did the same thing!? (Yeah we gonna talk about that and familiar spirits.)
In that, I repeated a cycle. Even IN THAT CYCLE, I SAW through visions and dreams the fate of my relationship with this man. There was never any true peace, but you know how we do it; I ignored every warning.
The Most High showed me that even in my leaving Him, He DID NOT LEAVE ME. He warned me of the destruction event after event within the six months I choose to involve myself with this man. I not only showed me the present, but showed me the future. I can never say I didn't see the fate.
I realize now, it is not 'MY WORLD' because it is not MY LIFE. :)
I would encourage you to run and seek shelter in the presence of the Most High. If you're going through, Make this season where you are intent in seeking HIS PRESENCE. If that means 3am- 4am-5am prayer, reading that Word every minute you can, praying all day...I mean WHATEVER. Let me tell you, you CANNOT afford to move out of the presence of the Most High during life's trials. Ok?! Ok...
Stay tuned for the next part, 'BY ME'!
Until then, if you missed His Beauty, My Ashes it is definitely a good one! I encourage you to read it and please share and leave feedback if you'd like!
I deleted the blog. I deleted the Facebook page. I didn't delete the email though. I thought, gotta go do that so, I did.
I logged back in to finally delete the email. As I logged into the email, the Holy Spirit said, "Take notice to the password. The password was 'myworldBYme'. I said 'WOW'. I was really into MYself. I could have cried right then.
I was so out of the will of my Father man...Think about this too. What did Judas betray the Most High with?
A KISS. INTERESTING RIGHT???????????? WHAT did I choose to represent this 'new life' of BETRAYAL to my LORD?! LIPS?!
"MY world." SEE how the enemy gets us?! NAH...IT WASN'T MY WORLD. I was not thinking or hearing of my own, but of the master I served - the devil. At this point, this season of my life (November 2014 - September 2017 THREE YEARS HA!!) I had taken it upon myself that it was my life and no one else was going to limit me. No one else was going to determine how far I went. See, I'd been abused and controlled mentally and emotionally and I charged that to the Most High. I was going to determine, at that point in my life, that whatever I wanted then it was up to ME to get. Man oh man!!! Don't tell me what a wounded soul won't cause you to do! Those that are lost will by default become servants of the enemy.
What did He say?! He wished that we were hot or cold!! But see, to me - I couldn't trust the Most High to protect my heart. To me, I'd prayed through, worshiped through, cried through, churched through, loved through...I mean, you name it. I did it. See how the same strategy that was used on Eve in the garden is still being used? The devil planted the seed in my mind that the Most High was withholding something back from me. I simply wanted a nice career, a family, and to be a good leader.
But what I've found is that no amount of tongues MAKES things right automatically. You gotta put a lot more faith behind your words. Because in the midst of trials and tribulations is when faith is really tested and not matter how that situation worked out, I should have NEVER TURNED MY BACK ON THE MOST HIGH. I won't go into details but I believed that the Most High still had a plan for me after the divorce.
So I closed my heart to trusting Him.
I remember hearing in worship that His heart broke too. He didn't want me to experience that but He wanted me to rely more on Him, to experience Him. See He doesn't always answer prayers like we think He will. At the end of the day, everyone has free will BUT the Father says ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR OUR GOOD. I began to take bits and pieces of the scriptures I wanted. But my heart became more and more lukewarm as I began my life as "Zoey Noelle Oliver."
The enemy was allowed to take the name that Yahweh gave me to represent the NEW LIFE He was going to break through me. A life that would impact the world! See He told me, "DOUBLE FOR YOUR TROUBLE" long before that even; He'd said "I'm gonna make your name great for MY sake" long before the event occurred.I heard all these great promises before. BUT how else could I really rely on Him? I My absentee father issues were dividing my heart and soul. I charged Yahweh with what I felt like He allowed to come upon me for harm but truthfully, it was all for my GOOD.
See, NO MATTER the trial, no matter the tribulation, NO MATTER HOW BAD IT LOOKS IN THE NATURAL, trust HIM.
As I prayed through my concerns during that season, the Holy Spirit gave me a scripture from Jonah and I had peace about the decision. My mistake was not trusting the Most High in that storm though. I was frantic like the disciples, "I'm gonna die in this!" When the Most High already knew the fate of that thing. I didn't run into His arms and under the shadow of His wings. I ran into the arms of another man. A man I'd allowed to break me before, multiple times. A door Yahweh had closed twice already. How is it that in being broken from one man, I ran back to another man that did the same thing!? (Yeah we gonna talk about that and familiar spirits.)
In that, I repeated a cycle. Even IN THAT CYCLE, I SAW through visions and dreams the fate of my relationship with this man. There was never any true peace, but you know how we do it; I ignored every warning.
The Most High showed me that even in my leaving Him, He DID NOT LEAVE ME. He warned me of the destruction event after event within the six months I choose to involve myself with this man. I not only showed me the present, but showed me the future. I can never say I didn't see the fate.
I realize now, it is not 'MY WORLD' because it is not MY LIFE. :)
I would encourage you to run and seek shelter in the presence of the Most High. If you're going through, Make this season where you are intent in seeking HIS PRESENCE. If that means 3am- 4am-5am prayer, reading that Word every minute you can, praying all day...I mean WHATEVER. Let me tell you, you CANNOT afford to move out of the presence of the Most High during life's trials. Ok?! Ok...
Stay tuned for the next part, 'BY ME'!
Until then, if you missed His Beauty, My Ashes it is definitely a good one! I encourage you to read it and please share and leave feedback if you'd like!