Well ...
It's the first of a "new year" and I woke up feeling "beast mode-ish."
It's not that I give a lot of respect to the holiday itself, as a "new year" - but this quarter feels like it's about to be significant - more significant than before. I woke up this morning and decided that this quarter there are just certain things that I don't want in my life anymore.
I gave a lot of my time freely - to people who undervalued it. I gave a lot of energy and love for people who really committed to making "me" the problem. I gave a lot of frustrations and agitations to people who have shown the same cycle of behavior for years; who, no matter how much they have literally been wrong toward me, still for some reason only give me attitude, disrespect, and anger. Where do they do that at?
I have a dismissive nature towards drama and things that don't bring me positive vibes. So, I will quickly move on from anyone who is draining, however, some people you know - you just have to deal with. However...
I woke up this morning feeling... yeah, different. Then I tuned in to a few empowering sessions on Clubhouse and those messages lit the fire even more. While it's true that I must love others, it is also true that I don't have to intentionally place myself in front of their daggers. While it's true that I am to display Yeshua's character - He was not weak. Let me say again, HE. WAS. NOT. WEAK.
Where they got it all messed up is in giving us this fake, pale, blue-eyed, blond hair false "Jesus" and made Him seem like He was just soft and a pushover - but He wasn't. In actuality, He had compassion for people but if He was to speak to some of us today, He would be rude and He would hurt feelings. I'm convinced that people haven't read their Bibles enough to understand this concept.
See...Whenever He appears to me - it is also in the form of a lion; even recently I had a dream where I asked to see His face. In the dream, He appeared to me - again - like a lion. Upon interpreting the dream, another thing that I am coming into the revelation of is that this is how He wants me to relate and see Him. And I, I woke up feeling like a reflection of my Father and Savior. Not intentionally attacking others, no. But I feel like I am being told that it is time to roar. I feel righteous indignation toward some things, a growl.
I don't know what this season is bringing but I do know this: I have a different attitude towards those who have confused my silence and humility for weakness. I have a different attitude towards situations that constantly reach no resolve with people who simply refuse to acknowledge their role of guilt, among other things. I also have absolutely no tolerance for miscommunication among adults. I have a lot of changes coming business-wise as well. Yes...
I have a lot of prayers, a lot of love, and a lot of compassion - but I have a brewing growl, a roar that is escaping more and more. I don't know what it is I'm feeling but oooooouuuuuuuu it's different.
And it ain't pretty.
So ... welcome to 2021.