LOL... Crazy title I know, but that's exactly what I felt like this morning. I was like, "DANG!" It's how I feel. You know...the Holy Ghost has a way to simply "check you" out of no where.
So this morning, I intentionally logged into #Clubhouse; I wanted to tap into some good prophetic flow, worship, and Word for this Friday morning. This particular room was based on prophetic mornings for your business. So... I'm like, "Okay dope."
The topic this morning though? HEALING.
STILL. I'm like, "Oh gooood. We need healing." If you're following me on social media then you know that I've been detoxing, losing weight, and focusing on an alkaline diet. I believe that healing is both spiritual and physical and I am set on using my faith and works to obtain my promise of healing. I have also began studying holistic health and herbalism, etc.
So, that was good.
But then she began to talk about how to tap into your healing and part of those steps were: FORGIVENESS.
So SURELY... SURELY, me - I - Zoe Dee Speaks - Zoe Davis - .. LOL ..surely I don't have unforgiveness right?
Nope, and it even took me a minute to receive His Words, but He began calling out names. A stiffness came to me. I may have even rolled my eyes, lol. Honestly. I probably tried to ignore it for a minute as well. Eventually I spoke up.
"But I love them," I argued, "You know I do. You told me to love them and I love them."
"Yes," He replied gently, "But can you treat them like they've not done anything to you?"
....
....
....
"No," I answered.
Sigh.
My answer was "No." As He called the names out, and showed me my heart towards these individuals, I argued, "I walk in love still." Because I do. I don't treat individuals any differently but I AVOID them at ALL cost so that I don't have to deal with them. At the very mention of their names, a part of me cringes. I don't like dealing with them and if I can avoid dealing with them - I will. They are not a delight for me to even want to interact with. I don't like them. Honestly. I don't like them one bit. But I do love them outwardly - but obviously there is a part of my heart where unforgiveness is lingering. Why? Because as the Lord said: "Can you treat them like they've not done anything to you?" He wasn't speaking on the outside of my actions - because He knows I do treat them on the outside with love...but inside...
Hmmm...
I began to think about when my heart has been free from people - He made a mention to remind me of these instances. There are people I should literally hate - and I feel peace with them, even at the very thought of them. See, on the outward appearance - I can and will operate in love but in my heart, I still feel the sting of the rejection and hurt from the names He began to show me. These people who I have had to just pray for, but even in that - I need to really really pray them for in my heart, and not just in my mouth. Why? Because I realized this morning that my heart still kind of hurts. When you're healed and at peace - trust me, it doesn't move you. I know because I have experienced this type of healing before.
It was interesting, because after the meditation time was over, the speaker made it adamant that unforgiveness was necessary for healing.
At that moment, I had to ask myself were any of them worth robbing me of my promises because of the blockage. Of course, the answer is "NO", they are not. However, the healing must take place to be able to walk in love both internally and externally! Whew...
Yeah... He was all up in my business this morning! LOL
But the thing about it is this - I am His. I know that He loves me enough to correct me and to show me that there is greater on the other side of this correction. I am humble enough to not reject His unction and Word for me because just as I can receive the good Words filled with blessings, then I can receive those that come to me in correction.
In closing, I ask you -
"Who is it that you can't treat the same because of an ought that's in your heart?" and "Are you ready to let Father heal?"
Hmm... Pray. Pray. Pray.