And the spirit of the Lord said, “My daughters have used singleness and celibacy as an excuse to avoid the accountability and healing that is needed to become wives.”
This is what I believed to have heard March 2023 after I had questioned the Lord after hearing a sister say “God” called her to celibacy. I have to admit, it didn't sit right in my spirit when she said it and it was something I just couldn't shake. I didn't quite understand how He would allow woman - being made to be a helper for man - to be single. I also questioned how the authority would flow for a single woman with no covering. I heard a sister say, "Well God's my covering," but this mindset brought confusion to me because again, "Why would God make an earthly covering if women didn't need one?"
I went to the final authority - the Word. I would have to give the disclaimer that if THE WORD is not final authority - that means if you're not trying to conform YOUR world into HIS, but trying to conform HIS Word to YOU, then this may not be for you to continue reading. This blog is for women who desire to do the will of Yahweh in all areas of their lives; not just the ones that feel good. That being said, let's examine what the scripture says concerning singleness and celibacy. From the creation of woman, to the purpose of woman, to the role of a woman - I didn’t find any supporting scriptures to advocate for singleness nor celibacy! This blog will break down all of those scriptures and hopefully enlighten sisters on how singleness and celibacy is indeed a ANTIChrist doctrine.
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Genesis 2:18 - 25
[Gen 2:18-25 KJV] 18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought [them] unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that [was] the name thereof. 20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, This [is] now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Why did Yahweh create woman?
He found that man should not be alone. He said it was not good. He said that man needed a HELP MEET. What is a HELP MEET? The word HELP MEET in Hebrew (5828) is translated ʿēzer which means simply - help. Any scripture that you see this word used is simply defined as to be a help; but there's another word used which is succour. I looked this word and it's definition says:
assistance and support in times of hardship and distress.
This means that woman was created
1. So that man would not be alone.
2. So that woman can help man, and be his assistance and support in times of hardship and distress.
What did Yahweh create to keep man from being alone and to have help?
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
The word woman has a Hebrew (802) definition of wife, female, opposite of man. But here's the interesting thing. This word 'iššâ is used repeatedly in the scripture (781 times); 425 times for "wife" or "woman married to a man", 324 times for woman, 10 times for one, five times for married, two times for female, and miscellaneously 14 times.
From this we conclude that Yahweh created Adam a WIFE when he (Yahweh) created him (Adam) a woman.
So here we can definitively say that God made a WIFE for Adam and the purpose of that wife is to be a helpmeet. The WOMAN was made from Adam for Adam.
Therefore, is it safe to say that if you are a woman, made opposite of man, that you are to be a wife?
What did Yahweh instruct man to do with his wife/woman?
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
1. The first thing is to leave (forsake, depart from) his father and mother.
2. The second thing is to cleave to his wife (after he has left his father and mother). But what do we mean by cleave : Hebrew (1692) (dāḇaq)? Cling, stick to, or join. We see by the next part of the verse that when he cleaves, that they shall be one flesh? How do you become one flesh? By having sex. So it is saying that after the man leaves his father and mother - then he is to join to his wife by having sex with her! ONE FLESH.
3. Last, the third thing is that scriptures tell us the man and his wife were naked (bare, nude) and unashamed after they became one flesh (of the body). It means that they had sex and sex combined them as one - husband and wife.
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So again, when it comes back to being single - we have to measure singleness and celibacy with the Word right?
Woman's creation was for the purpose of being a helpmeet to a man. After she was created, she was named by man. Then Yahweh said that man should leave father and mother, have sex with his wife, and be one flesh.
If Yahweh's intent was for women to be single, why did He create woman especially for men? If women are to be single, how are they fulfilling their God given purpose as a woman (to be a helpmeet to a man)? If Yahweh did not want women having sex, why is it the first thing that he instructs man to do is to have sex with is wife after leaving his father and mother?
Here, just in these scriptures we see that WOMAN was created specifically to be a wife to a man and to help him. We see also that WOMAN is not separate from MAN but literally in the image of the man; her identity is found in him because she derived from him.
Well, do we have any other scriptures that tell us the purpose of woman?
Genesis 3:16 tells us that after the fall, the desire of woman was to be for her man, and that he would rule over her. How has Yahweh called now women to singleness and celibacy which would be contrary to this very scripture. Singleness is the very opposite of desiring a man, and being submitted to a man. Yahweh also made it clear that woman was to bear the seed of man, her husband rather to be clear.
1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. Now while Paul is addressing the Corinthian church and their issues, he makes the point to teach them that woman was created for man. Before this verse - he also states in verse 3 of the same chapter, that he would have you to know that the head of the woman is indeed the man. Although the Greek word for woman is used here (gynē) it still establishes that the woman is a wife. This establishes the order we saw in Genesis.
Side journey: Women tend to know that a man shall leave his father and mother and CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE: and they shall be one flesh - but they overlook the fact that as a woman they are supposed to cleave to a husband and be ONE FLESH as a VIRGIN. This vital, yet overlooked aspect, is denying that Yahweh has indeed called us to sexual purity. The intention of Yahweh is that woman be with one man through her entire life, from the beginning of her virginity throughout her life UNLESS she was widowed. (In this case the widow would remarry a kinsmen of her husband.)
Now, if we are going on scripture alone, what reasons would a woman have to believe that Yahweh has called her to a lifetime of singleness and celibacy. Do I believe that women in today's time need a season of singleness; yes. I believe that season should however look chaste, and that the woman should be focused on allowing Yahweh to heal her and prepare her. But take it from me, when you have submitted your will to the Father - it doesn't take him 10 years to provide you a husband. What typically happens is during singleness, women are still entertaining soul ties, having sex, or in rebellion to the Word as it pertains to what a wife should be - but yet praying for a husband.
Why would Yahweh give you a husband in any kind of state. I propose to you sisters that the only reason a woman should be single (and abstinent while single) in any season is to be able to walk into the coming marriage that Yahweh has ordained. Many of our us as women need to restore our relationship with the Father, grow in faith, be healed from our past traumas with men and more. Your singleness should not look like the world's singleness. Your singleness should be under leadership and mentoring of sisters who can minister to you and teach you how to be a Biblical wife, under a covering who can properly present you to a man that is righteous and in a community where you are held accountable to your purity until married.
If you know my testimony, you know my lord husband and I were abstinent 400 days before we married. In that time - the Lord restored a lot of things within me and progressed us as a couple. There was a lot of fasting, praying and trusting Him. It was in this season he left our hometown (left father and mother), I moved when he moved (he "cleaved"), and we became one flesh (in covenant). See the order?
Lastly...
I remember a scene from a show I was watching and it was two Muslims going out on a date - but with a chaperone. I fully grown man and woman. The man reached over to touch her hand and the chaperone hit his hand and told him, "You know you're not supposed to touch her unless you're married." Now for some, in this culture, that may seem extreme but I'll have you know that research shows that women who are virgins when they marry usually are virgins because of the environment of religious structures in place.
If we want to change the direction of this hyper sexualize culture - we have to be realistic but most importantly we must get back to the purity that the Bible requires of us. After all - women who were not virgins on their wedding night were indeed stoned. I'm just saying.
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