Whew... Ok - just know that this Word came to me, 4am while I was literally - minding my own business, couldn't sleep, praying on and off, and being idle on and off too.
So, before you get to reading - I want to share a disclaimer that as a yielded scribe on this subject: I don't know what you're about to read no more than I know what you're about to read.
That being said, I am yielding to the scripture, as some of you may guess:
"Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
Ephesians 5:22-24
Well... PER USUAL. Let's break this down.
WIVES (Greek word 1135) meaning "woman, specifically a wife" - which implies that this is only talking to women who are in covenant marriages
SUBMIT yourselves (Greek word 5293) meaning by Strong's definition to subordinate; reflexively, to obey:—be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.
Outline of Biblical Usage (Resource Here)
to arrange under, to subordinate
to subject, put in subjection
to subject one's self, obey
to submit to one's control
to yield to one's admonition or advice to obey, be subject
You may be saying to yourself, "So ZoΓ«, you're telling me to "obey" my husband?"
No, "I AM" not telling you to obey your husband, "YAHWEH, the Most High God, is telling you to OBEY your husband!
And He is telling you to do so in "every thing," and then if we didn't fully get it, He emphasizes, "as unto the Lord."
So, basically the Word is telling us as wives to be obedient to our husbands just like we would be obedient to Him.
Ouch. This is scary but also a hard thing to grasp for the Jezebel/Lilith mindset, for the woman who has truly been subjected to ungodly authority, to the woman who is not use to submission.
I would argue that even the most "submissive" woman still has an issue being obedient mainly because we give excuses to be disobedient to the Most High Himself. So how much more obedient will we be to the earthly lord (master, husband) over us.
Oh I grieve at the thought even within myself.
This... this is a heart check.
How many times have you simply not done what your husband desired of you?
How many times have you done what he told you not to do?
How many times did you do something without asking his permission?
How many times have you done what he's asked but delayed it or had an attitude doing it?
Do these questions trigger you? That may be red flag.
Where in your heart are you truly not obedient to your husband?
Selah.
---
What I've found within myself is sometimes I obey simply because I know I should, while in my head or heart - I'm not as obedient. Those are the times I find myself fighting with peace as well; maybe because of the mere fact that I'm out of alignment.
If the Father honors our obedience to Himself, how much more does he acknowledge our obedience to our earthy lords? Really think about it.
And this is usually where the, "Yes and after that it tells the men to love their wives as Christ loved the church."
Well...why sis, yes it does. However, this is not a negotiable - cause/effect situation. The Bible is not instructing you as a wife to only be obedient WHEN he does his part. Let's correct that. Secondly, even after the scriptures give instructions to husbands, it comes right back at the end of the chapter and ends with "and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
Reverence: (G5399) meaning "to frighten that is to be alarmed", "by analogy to be in awe of that is revere", be afraid, fear (exceedingly) reverence.
Outline of Biblical usage for this word: FEAR, AFRAID
What's that? You don't fear no man?
Scriptures say you're supposed to. π
Let me ask... do any of this make you feel ... like a child? This is the type of fear it should be; a reverence fear that you love and respect his authority as your lord husband that you only want to serve and please him! Recall, one of the characteristics is understanding his position. (We talked about that here in Part II.)
I think that's the point.
Listen. You may be triggered but this is the Biblical truth. Your trigger may come from the belief that a "man" shouldn't have that much control over you. It may come from the idea that you're "equal" to your husband. It may stem from many ungodly beliefs about men due to pass abuse of authority in your life. It may come if you've never seen a healthy father or father figure in your life. However, none of that matters in the light of obeying the Word.
Does the Most High consider this in patience with you? I'm sure He does. Does He excuse your disobedience to this scripture? Absolutely not.
I get women a lot of times that tell me that they don't believe the God we serve would be this "unfair."
To that, I always say, "That's because you don't have a revelation of His love for you and to protect you."
The Most High's original design for you as a woman to be under the patriarchy of your father, and then to a patriarch as a husband - is one of the fairest things the Most High can do for you. It's His protection. It's His love. He requires covenant, provision, and protection from your husband to even sleep with you. This is fair; overly fair. He is a father.
Instead of seeing it as a disadvantage, liken it to your childhood or the parent/child relationship.
Are children supposed to be equal to their parents? Are parents supposed to input their children in every decision? Are children supposed to have a choice in obedience; and what happens when a child is disobedient? In a well structured household, would that child not be corrected? Especially, especially, if they knew better?
Sisters, there is hierarchy everywhere. There is a "chain of command" every where.
Will you be the one to break the chain of command or submit in his household?
Are you "obedient" unto your flesh/feelings? Or "obedient" unto the Lord?
Can you obey when it doesn't make sense to you? And be wise enough to pray for peace and wisdom for you both?
π₯Wait, so are am I really saying, "OBEY?" Yes. I am. Let's get a second witness.
Let's look at Titus 2:3-5
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Look at this word "obedient" here. This is the same Greek word G5293, meaning, "obey."
So yes, the scriptures tell you to obey your husband in every thing, in all things.
Disclaimer: To the extremist that want to say, "Well what about if he tells me to do something wrong? What if he's wrong? What if he tells me to go murder?"
First, I very highly doubt these types of situations are as common as it's just the mind of woman to reject the truth with a "Hath God said?" type of question. Secondly, let's see what Peter says.
1 Peter 3:1-6
2 While they behold your chaste conversation (G391 meaning lifestyle) coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement (G4423 to be afraid of with terror).
There is a holy obedience that should come from you to your lord husband. This is one of the reasons I don't particularly agree with addressing our husbands in the terms we've been taught because it doesn't separate his position in the household. It is hard to obey and respect someone that you don't reverence; and I will say that I see many times that wives absolutely have no respect for their husbands. I see many emasculated men - emotionally, spiritually, in their vision, etc.
Even if you aren't married yet and reading this - I would ponder before marriage, "Am I truly ready to be submissive in my heart, mind, and soul?"
As a wife, my final questions are:
"What are the consequences in the natural and spirit of being a disobedient wife? Do I fear the Most High enough to yield to his instructions to obey my husband in everything?"
If that doesn't place a sense of fear in you .... π
That's it though.
Submit & Obey.
---
Previous Parts 1-4
Characteristics of a Biblical Wife: Understanding Your Purpose
Characteristics of a Biblical Wife: Understanding His Role
Characteristics of a Biblical Wife (Part III): UNDERSTANDING THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE
Characteristics of a Biblical Wife (Part IV): The Self-Governed Wife